How to Stop Adding On And Making Things Worse

Written by Dr. Diana Hill

Humans have a natural tendency to solve problems by adding rather than simplifying them. Can’t get someone to understand your point? You pile on more examples and arguments. Feel like you aren’t measuring up at work? You take on another task. But, often the best solution is to just stop adding on more. 

This principle doesn’t just apply to physical things or communication—it applies to our minds as well. We can’t stop thinking (as Steven Hayes, the founder of ACT, likes to say, “The mind is like a calculator without a subtraction button”), but we can notice when we’re adding to our experience. Often, it’s that adding—layering on stories, judgments, or "what-ifs"—that muddies our experience and, at its worst, amplifies our distress. 

The Adding Habit 

Here’s a relatable example. Driving up to the mountains last week for a family ski trip, my mind went full-on "adding mode." 

• What if our condo is too far for the kids to walk to the slopes? 

• What if we get there too late to find dinner? 

• What if they don’t have coffee? 

My mind didn’t stop there. When my back started to ache during the drive, my inner narrative kicked into overdrive: 

• I can’t stand this feeling. 

• I hate driving.

• How much longer is this going to take? 

The human mind has a way of taking a single problem and piling on layers of imagined complications. It’s like a runaway train, building speed with every additional "what if" or negative thought. 

We Can’t Subtract the Mind, But We Can Notice When It’s Adding 

Let’s face it: we can’t just toss our minds out the window during a frustrating car ride (though it’s tempting). But we can stop adding—or at least recognize when we’re doing it. This is where the process of attention becomes a game-changer. 

In Process-Based Therapy, a model rooted in psychological flexibility, our psychology can be understood through six dimensions: attention, behavior, cognition, affect, sense of self, and motivation. Attention—where we place our mental focus—is one of the most accessible levers we can pull. As a yoga practitioner and meditator, I’ve spent years working with attention, and it’s been a powerful tool in moments like that car ride. 

Here’s what I did: 

1. Shift from future to present. Instead of spinning stories about what-ifs (future focus), I reminded myself that this moment is part of the vacation, too. I noticed the Joshua trees outside, listened to my kids chatting in the backseat, and softened into the now. 

2. Lean into physical sensations. When my back ached, I brought my attention there—not to fix it, but to notice it. I explored the sensation: where it was sharpest, how it felt, how it shifted. Instead of adding a story like “I can’t stand this,” I simply observed it. 

3. Notice the mind at work. I caught myself telling stories—"this drive is unbearable"—and practiced a kind of metacognition where I could step back and see: “Ah, there’s my mind, doing what it does, adding layers.” 

These simple shifts helped me reclaim my attention and stop the runaway train of adding. 

Two Practices to Stop Adding 

Here are two practices that I teach my clients that are immensely helpful to stop the run away train of adding. They draw from contemplative traditions like Vipassana meditation and early yoga practices, as well as ACTtechniques. They’re simple, yet powerful ways to interrupt the adding habit. 

1. Noting 

This practice comes from Vipassana meditation, where the goal is to notice whatever arises in your experience without judgment or elaboration. Imagine you’re holding a label maker and slapping a label on each thought, sensation, or feeling as it rolls by on a conveyor belt. 

• Feel a twinge in your shoulder? Label it: “Shoulder pain.” 

• Notice a rush of anxiety? Label it: “Anxiety in chest.” 

• Catch a pleasant thought? Label it: “Nice thought.”

That’s it—just name what’s here without adding anything else. It’s liberating because it allows you to see how everything arises, changes, and passes without needing to react or build a story. Research on mindfulness practices like this shows they can reduce rumination and improve emotional regulation (Kabat-Zinn, 2003). 

2. Widen Your Perspective 

When we’re adding to our experience, we often become narrow-focused. This happens when our brain’s threat system is activated, releasing stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. It’s as if the whole world shrinks down to the problem at hand. 

To counteract this, try physically and mentally widening your perspective: 

• Look out a window or up at the sky. 

• Step outside and take in the horizon. 

• Do something playful, like what my kids used to do—get into downward dog and look at the world upside down through your legs. 

These simple shifts can help you zoom out and see the bigger picture. When you’re stuck in the weeds of adding, a broader perspective reminds you that the problem isn’t the whole story. 

Our minds are incredibly powerful, but they’re also habitual "adders." By practicing noting and widening your perspective, you can learn to stop adding unnecessary layers

to your experience. And when you do, you’ll find more clarity, ease, and presence in your life. 

Next time you catch yourself adding, pause and ask: 

• Can I notice this without adding to it? 

• Can I shift my perspective and see the bigger picture? 

Shifting your attention is a skill worth cultivating—for your mind, your relationships, and your next long car ride.